The Hydrosphere

Post Challenge Pains

2010-12-20T12:07:00.000+03:00

Can't explain it to save my life. But after NaNoWriMo and AEDM, I just crashed and this is the first time I'm coming up for air. It's not the best start to the holiday season but that's what I usually get.

Five more days

2010-11-26T13:39:00.000+03:00

Only five more days and I am no longer afraid that my novel will make it. There would have to be some serious problem to stop me in my tracks. I also love that this week has been nice and easy. I run out of story (just as aI thought I would) then went back to fix the plot holes (just like I said I would). Not only is the novel more readable now but I'm also terribly proud of myself.

I love this madness.

Current word count: 48,728
Current mood: :-D ecstatic!
Listening to: Natasha Bedingfield

Right Here

2010-11-24T14:00:00.000+03:00

This was fun to do. Funny cut out flowers on a chalked background and the kind of inspirational quote that reminds me it doesn't have to hard work to journey 'out there somewhere.'

Inspired

2010-11-21T19:23:00.000+03:00

I bought Taking Flight: Inspiration And Techniques To Give Your Creative Spirit Wings by Kelly Rae Roberts some time back and have been reading it like a novel – all words but no action. After the funky week I had and the challenges of Art Every Day, I realised I not only needed some direction but also some inspiration.

This is the outcome of some mixed media and mixed source inspiration. I did the background out of cloth on paper like I have seen on some altered books then added the painting in acrylic over it. In keeping with the idea I stencilled in the word INSPIRED and voila.

I’m back on the learning curve.

NaNoWriMo Update Week 3

2010-11-21T19:18:00.000+03:00

Week three wonders are really worth it. My novel no longer has the gangly ungainly look of a teenager growing so fast his body parts don’t really fit. It looks a little more like a young adult. Still kinda skinny but with the right clothes, it can pass for everything a girl like me could ever want in a novel. It will have to grow into young adulthood after a second look but that comes after NaNoWriMo is over.

But I love week three. Everything is so much easier and even on days when I said I wouldn’t write, I still found myself adding a couple of thousand words to my overall word count. It is a good week. But there is one characteristic of it I had never noticed before. I call it the: ‘You know my novel...Week.’

Things are going well in NaNoLand, characters have come into their own and you are astounded by the plot line that didn’t seem to mesh a few weeks ago suddenly makes more sense than even you could imagine. You are able to sit down and do 1,000 words in a single spring without breaking a sweat and when some unexpected twist shows up in your brain you don’t try to manually strangle it, you write it in and say, “Okay.”

But you don’t want to go through this writing adventure on your own. So at every opportunity, you will find yourself saying to everyone you meet – friend and foe, neighbour and stranger alike: “You know, in my novel...” Then go on to expound on all the joys and terrors of being that intimately acquitted with everything maddeningly and yet marvellously inconsequential about your current writing adventure.

Telling people things are going well just doesn’t have the same ring to it as, “My characters are caught in a battle to find out who is going to be the ruler of Snickersland, the wonderful make-believe place that is made entirely of creamy chocolate with nuts and caramel. They have to fight a duel with cocoa beans and the one who swallows the most without killing over wins.” You’ll feel suitably impressed with yourself – everyone else might think you’ve lost your mind.

But when you’re riding high on the joys of week two, you’re too happy to care what other people think; too totally awesome to let the minutiae of the non-novelling world touch you. You are too sexy to be ordinary – you’re a novelist. And though everyone is going about their lives as ordinary boring people, there is nothing ordinary or boring about what is going on in your novella. It is a wonderful place that embraces you with warmth each time you sit down to write yet another sentence, paragraph, page or chapter. It is yours but suddenly the act of putting it down on paper has turned it into something so much more – so much bigger.

Something you just have to share in any way you can.

I’m looking forward now not only to seeing how my characters will sort themselves out in the final few chapters but also in finding the time to go fix those plot holes I talked about before. The end is in sight for me and it is very exciting. And if week one was about stepping forward with nothing more than enthusiasm, than there is the promise of victory and the wonderful joy of endless bragging rights to look forward to when I cross the 50,000 word mark. But that’s a story for another time.

Current word count: 41,255

Mood: :-D

Music in my ear: Paula Cole

Be...

2010-11-19T18:56:00.000+03:00

Stop. Take a breather. Be. That is the advice I am giving to me.

I wonder what I am when I stop to just be.

Why Not?

2010-11-18T15:39:00.001+03:00

WHY?

Why am I doing this?
Why does it matter?
Why should I spend my time and effort and resources to make art?
Why do I care about how it turns out?
Why do my efforts suck?
Why do I ask why?

What am I trying to prove?

The only answer I can come up with is because I’m a sucker for punishment and an eternal optimist. I never thought I would ever do anything special with my desire to create but I have found a small way to express myself. I’m not where I want to be yet but I think it’s worth it. Because something is telling me this is the way to go.

NOT

Not what I wanted it to be.
Not getting any better.
Not making the progress I wanted.

Not useless.
Not a waste of time.
Not impossible.

Just enough for me right now.

Giving myself permission to suck is a new unusual feeling. It’s a lot like saying I don’t have to try but at the same time saying that it’s okay if I try and things don’t turn out right. It’s about daring and sometimes falling flat on my face but other times it might be about trying and learning how to fly.

‘Why’ and ‘not’ are two words that on their own can be reason enough not to start. About having no good reason to put myself out there...and no good reason to fight against my fears and make a dent in the world. Together, they are about creative audacity; courage and listening to that inner voice that says to me, “You can do it!”

So I could listen to the dissenting voice that tells me I can’t or shouldn’t but I won’t. I will create. And if anyone should ever ask me why I’ll have to tell them ‘Why not!”

Excess

2010-11-17T22:33:00.003+03:00

When you have more paint than you know what to do with and you can’t exactly put it back into the pot what happens? Spontaneous art. Impatient art. Strange effects that can only happen when you are not sure what you are doing. However, if this is the product of letting go then perhaps I need to hold on just a little tighter.

There is a difference between being flexible enough to let that Inspiring Grace to guide me and completely letting go of everything and not making any effort to align myself to Universal Creative Power. This is the product of the later and it lacks the same ‘something’ I’ve been missing this week.

I could have crumpled it up and thrown it away. I could have over-painted it and nobody would have known what I did. But something has been telling me to keep putting these efforts out there. They might suck but there is something about sucking that is part of the process as well. Through these mishaps and mistakes I believe there is still a kernel of truth...of hope. And that’s a good enough reason to create bad art.

Checks v2.0

2010-11-17T20:26:00.002+03:00

I had to try it again. I thought a change of pace and colour would make a difference and I think it did. Just not the difference I wanted. The background doesn’t lend itself to anything more and yet it isn’t really enough on its own. So to beat a dead horse once more...why am I doing this again?

Grassy

2010-11-16T14:43:00.000+03:00

Another plan. Another questionable outcome. Another picture I am going to have to repeat because I actually like the idea for this one. AEDM is making think I can do anything and perhaps...that isn't entirely true.

Checks and Flowers

2010-11-15T14:30:00.014+03:00

There is a part of me that thinks planning is for morons. Let's face it, art I plan never comes out the way I planned it and I get into a funk about it. This was a nice enough idea and the thought of layering water colour just so I could see how it would come out fit perfectly with the idea of a checker board. Then I decided fine lines with masking medium would add to the effect. Finally, I decided masking the centre of the flowers would also give me a nice look. Planning complete, I started working on the project and...this is not the way I planned it.

So planning is going to the fishes for now. I am going to work off the cuff and hope it also doesn't suck. And once I'm certain there is a point to all this planning business, I might try my hand at this again and do a few things differently. Have to figure out what that's going to be first though. So here's a AEDM page although I'm not sure I want it to count. Blah!

Touchstones

2010-11-14T16:20:00.001+03:00

There is an exercise in Julie Cameron's book "The Artist's Way" that asks one to write their touchstones. At first I wanted it to be those big things that change the course of the entire world. Turns out there is nothing like that. Small things, beautiful things, fun things; those are my touch stones. Another page in my idea book (well just the other side of the same one with flowers really) and I'm all set for week 2 of AEDM.

Being spelling challenged can lead to unexpected creativity...BELIEVE IT!

NaNoWriMo Update Week 2

2010-11-13T22:00:00.000+03:00

Week two is the hardest weeks in NaNoWriMo. The euphoria of week one has worn off and the real world starts to rare its ugly head. The work of writing can easily get overshadowed by the work of getting on with all the things that need doing; laundry, eating three meals a day, spending time with loved ones, showering regularly. I thought I was immune to week two blues but I found myself struggling.

I wish it had something to do with my novel but that seems to be alright. I have reconnected with the basic idea and although I know I am leaving gaps in my writing a Boeing 747 could fall through, I know I am getting the basic idea down. I can patch up and pad things later on – that’s what December is for after all. But even with such a wonderful feeling about what I’m writing I still found myself distracted towards the end of the week and lost two days to feeling overrun and overwhelmed.

There is a silver lining. Because I was ahead on my word count, the loss of two days of writing has had not affected that. I am still on target for my daily word count because I opted to do a 10,000 word challenge last weekend. I only managed 7,500 but I wasn’t exactly sad about that. But still...

Week two brings with it question – hard questions. The most common being, “Why exactly am I doing this?” I never thought to vocalise any of those questions before but when I look back at my old word count charts, it is clear that there is always a crisis somewhere between day 5 and day 15. Somewhere in the midst of my literary marathon comes the desire to pack it up and move on to something else – something easier. I haven’t done it yet – not in the 6 years of doing NaNoWriMo. But when I stopped to ask myself why this year, I learnt something really important about Creativity in general and NaNoWriMo specifically:

“Getting through [a creative challenge] is not a matter of talent, great ideas or even divine inspiration (although they help). It is about resilience, courage and the strength to keep going even when you don’t want to. Art is created mainly because artists are too stubborn to quit more than anything else. And I AM an artist.”

So I’m still going on and perhaps I have left the dark clouds behind or maybe I haven’t. What does it matter? I have a novel to write and I will write it until I reach my target. But I am lucky enough not to be doing this alone.

I have come to appreciate the Forums on the NaNoWriMo page. I hardly ever used to participate in them but I have increased my activity there slowly over the years. I love the shout outs and the challenges and best of all I like the sense of comradeship I find there. It is a place to find and give encouragement and keep track of the greater accomplishment of thousands of other people meeting their creative challenges same as I am. Strangely enough, giving or receiving encouragements seems to work the same way for me – I get a little more enthusiastic about writing my novel and that’s always a good thing.

So week two might not be celebratory but I faced a challenge and came out on top. If that’s not something to be grateful for then I don’t know what is. I just hope week three is a little kinder to me.

Word count: 23,810

Mood: Tired :-p

Listening to: Michael Bolton – Only A Woman

Flowers

2010-11-13T13:00:00.004+03:00

I have an idea book and it's where I scribble everything I come up with. I recently added a few watercolour pages to it in an attempt to force my visual art creativity. This was the first attempt. I used acrylic in watercolour technique and although I'm still working on my washes, I think the final product was alright...for a quick study.

Creativity Is...

2010-11-12T15:52:00.000+03:00

Last chance on stamp it coral! I had one last use of my potato stamp but it was so poor, I had to go over it with fresh paint. But it gave me the idea for the rest of the page. I'm not sure why but it feels like I've used all these colours before and it's starting to bug me. I'm not bad at colour mixing but unless I already know what colour I'm looking for, I just use whatever is in the tube. The result...an oddly repetitive look that I am beginning to hate.

This has room for me to write something out and I think I'll use some white ink for that. Overall not a bad page but still...those colours!

Stamp It!

2010-11-11T13:00:00.001+03:00

One more usage of the stamp this time with a yellow background then aging the whole with black distressing ink. Discovered that distressing ink doesn't stick too well to an acrylic base and getting this wet even in the least makes a mess of the effect so I might try it again with watercolour and see how it comes out. Still decided to post it even though I probably won't do anything more with it.

Green

2010-11-10T15:37:00.006+03:00

It’s raining. It always rains in November and Nairobi and its environs are turned into cities of life; growing, green life. Everywhere you look plant life that was lacklustre after the cold dry months before is thriving. The jacaranda trees are in bloom and they drop their flowers to form a carpet of purple blossoms. But purple really isn’t enough to describe the variety of colour all around. Lilac and lavender so sweet they look good enough to eat. Deep violet blooms stand out in the sheer majesty, pale and precious purple it takes your breath away.

But even the jacarandas cannot compete with the greenery. Green is not my favourite colour. I used to happily declare: ‘I have nothing green in my wardrobe’. I can’t claim that any more; I have a green t-shirt. It was a gift from my sister who thought it would, ‘Suit me perfectly.’ I’m still not sold on green as a colour to wear but I have a whole new appreciation for it. All because I stopped to look and then truly saw.

More shades of green that I ever saw litter the city. Trees differ from hedges, flowers differ from bushes. New shoots sprout and have a different shade of green from the old and worn leaves that came before. Yellow green, dark green, jade and juniper, blue-green, army green and various shades of khaki. The green when sun’s rays break through clouds and glisten on rain soaked leaves or the dark looming grey-green in the pale glow of the moon. Green is beautiful.

When the rain falls in Nairobi and the green things grow, one cannot think of green as anything other than the colour of life. It reverberates with aliveness; with an inner knowing of just how powerful it is. Duality dictates that balance be kept. Green is life but it is also envy. I do not see it in the delicate curve of a new leaf or the ancient spirals of a clinging vine. But maybe it is true that green is the colour of envy because I envy the world such a glorious wardrobe.

Flowers and Butterfly stamp

2010-11-10T13:00:00.001+03:00

Got a little more use out of the art stamp and I love how this came out. Would never have thought a repetitive pattern would do this well but I'm still totally taken by the joy of hand made stamps working so well. Perhaps I should practice with less perishable goods.

All that is Gold

2010-11-08T13:00:00.019+03:00

I love stamps but it's hard to get the in the middle of Nairobi. In frustration I decided to revert to an old childhood idea of using potato stamps. I love how this worked out and although I had forgotten to do that background before stamping away, I was able to add a layer of yellow paint mixed with glazing medium.

Oddly enough this print reminds me of 60's curtain fabric. I wondered if I could do it on a piece of cloth to see if I would get the same effect but the downside of potato stamps is how quickly they deteriorate. It's a lesson in creativity with speed.

The vellum was a gift from a friend and I have a whole roll of it. Didn't know what to do with it until I saw some scrapbook ideas that used it to cover pictures or write text. I printed this on my home printer and cut it out then fastened it with eyelets. I love the quote by Tolkien and got really lucky when I found the Free Font Aniron too. I'd say this was a happy convergence but I prefer SERENDIPITY.

Watercolour Flowers

2010-11-08T13:00:00.000+03:00

Yeah, so the whole watercolour thing isn't going as easy as I thought. I think the key to working with it is really patience. At least that's what I'm learning. I can do things in a hurry and they will turn out okay but if I take my time they turn out wonderfully. It's a great way to learn but there are times I wish I could do this without the angst.

So that's another one for AEDM and I need to up my game.

Poppies

2010-11-07T13:55:00.000+03:00

I bought a watercolour set from Cotman: 12 half pans and a nice brush to add to all the others I have. I've always been drawn to watercolour technique in acrylic but it never has the same translucence I like. This was the solution to that problem. This is one of the tutorials from the set that comes with several sheets of watercolour paper as well. This is phase one and...

I Am Really Trying

2010-11-06T19:03:00.002+03:00

I'm doing my best to keep up with the two challenges I've entered for this month. NaNoWriMo is kicking my ass the way it normally does but Art Every Day Month is doing a little worse. It isn't that I'm not being able to do the art. I'm just not being able to keep up with the posts. I'm hoping this blog has a function where I can backdate stuff but until I figure that out...the backgrounds and ideas I've had for my art will remain with me and nobody else.

Obviously if my novel writing endeavour kills me before I can do that, there will be no evidence of my prowess. I'll be sad to lose the opportunity but with the way I feel about my novel...that might just be the reprieve I need. Sometimes I wonder why I do this. It can be such a pain.

UPDATE:

So it is possible to add an entry late. As you can see, I've put in all the necessary pages as they should be and moving on to new things. AEDM might not be going as well as I'd hoped but it's great anyway because it keeps me trying. As for NaNoWriMo...I'm finally at my daily point rating and heading into the stratosphere.

Butterflies

2010-11-06T13:30:00.002+03:00

So I've already admitted to loving butterflies and the love isn't fading so that's always great. I couldn't seem to get the dimensions right so I found a few outlines online and copied them a few times. Once I knew what I was doing wrong, I tried this out and I love how it came out. The splatter was done in excess watercolour paint I had left off from another picture and the butterflies were done in black ink over the whole. They looked too plain so I added my second love - swirls. It looks more complete but it isn't much of a background for art journalling. I guess I'll just have to take it as it as. And that's another one for AEDM.

NaNo Update Week 1

2010-11-06T13:00:00.004+03:00

NaNoWriMo 2010 and I’m participating one more time. The creative challenge is always really wonderful and I have used it for years to write out some of the stories I have held in my heart. I like pitching myself against what are poor odds and coming out on top. I do this by choice although it might be hard to figure that part out from what I say about the entire writing process.

It doesn’t matter when it happens. At some point during NaNoWriMo, I feel like I have made a mistake and I should be using my time to do something easier. But creativity isn’t easy. Putting the words on the page is a skill anyone who knows how to write can do. But the art of digging deep and finding within yourself something you want to say – that you ultimately want other people to see is a lot harder to accomplish.

This process requires a strong constitution and every once in a while it will slip. Something you thought you had figured out will fall through while something else you didn’t want to even think about will rear its ugly head. Creativity evolves in the process of creating it and yet everything you create is still exactly what it’s supposed to be. It doesn’t go according to plan during NaNoWriMo and that’s fine because that is also what makes it so exciting.

So I might rant and rave about hating my novel because it isn’t doing what I want it to do but that just means the creative process is truly using me as the conduit and while I might not be in full control of the process I am letting go of my controlling self to allow what will happen to happen. I might occasionally say my characters are doing things I would prefer them not to do but I like to think they are coming into their own and are no longer a construct of my predominant archetypes.

And that is what creativity really is. When we look deeply in ourselves, we see the truth of what is there and from that truth we create. But the product that comes out isn’t just a creation of our lives but also a creation of the universe. It imbues it’s spirit into every line we write seeking to express itself fully through us – and isn’t that right too? We are all part of the same universe and we are all standing on the edge of something new where we are charged with creating our own stepping stones before we embark on another step into the very well known unknown.

I take pride in what I am able to do every November. It might be literary madness but I think it is also literary genius, literary talent, creative courage and utter and complete audacity. That there are times I get frightened by how big the dream is or how much I feel like myself when I am caught up in the process of creating is enough to make me want to run in the opposite direction but I haven’t turned away from this in 5 years, I will not do it now.

I will write. I will probably complain about the process and that’s alright. When I win, because I know I will...I’ll be terribly glad my story didn’t go exactly how I wanted to or that my characters are bolder, broader and more wonderful than I could have imagined them inside my head. So let me get back to my writing.

Current word count: 9,806

Mood: :-) Because I know I can do it.

Currently listening to...Eagle Eye Cherry.

Marble Background...Maybe

2010-11-04T13:30:00.001+03:00

I was attempting a tile in marble effect like I have seen in several home decorating books in the hope of doing the same on a larger scale. Do not be deceived. It is nowhere near as easy as they make it out to be. Alright so maybe doing it on such a small scale isn't the best way to attempt it, but I thought it will look at least a little bit like their final picture...something CLOSE would have been alright. Instead, I have this thing that looks more like a blue zebra than anything else. Ugh!

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this now but perhaps I'll stick with the blue zebra and find something that goes with it. And as for the painting job I wanted to do...I'll leave that to the professionals.

Swirly Background and Usage 1

2010-11-03T13:00:00.002+03:00

I can't seem to remember where I got this idea from but I do know it was from something online. The original was actually a black piece of paper and the swirls on white were done with black pen and vice versa. I adjusted it a bit and did the black with permanent Indian ink. When that was dry, I did the swirls with normal ink and it came out alright. Sadly, scanning it left a few strange discolourations (and if anyone knows how to fix that...I'm listening) which I had to fix with Illustrator. That's where I got the idea of putting in some writing.

In the spirit of more swirlies and NaNoWriMo, I decided to use the font Angelica to write out a little encouragement. I like how it looks and printing it and framing it makes for a nice focal point I can stare at when my word count starts flagging and making me wish I had opted for a less painful challenge. This is AEDM number 2.

Happy Halloween

2010-11-01T13:00:00.005+03:00

http://creativeeveryday.com/art-every-day-month

I was helping out at a Halloween Art Camp for children between the ages of 4 and 13 and this was one of the drawings the older kids had to do. Originally a tutorial for Derwent's Inktense Colours, it works just as well with their Watercolour Pencil set or watercolour paints which we used with the kids.

It was actually a lot of fun for me to try the same image and although I was a little aggressive with the watercolour pencils, it came out pretty well. Even though it is a little late for Halloween. I really want this to by my first image for the Art Every Day Month challenge. Here goes nothing.

NANOWRIMO 2010

2010-11-01T12:08:00.000+03:00

I can't believe another year has gone by. This year's start is also very shaky so I'm really going to have to rely on Chris Baty's guide to writing a novel in a month: No Plots, No Problem. I should be excited but I think there is something wrong with me because I can't seem to find the usually zing that goes with such a crazy writing adventure. Hopefully things will change soon.

Watch this space for updates, insanity and all the joys and horrors of a month of writing frenzy.

Nothing New?

2010-10-01T11:29:00.000+03:00

I'd like to blame the lack of artistic endeavor on my computer problems. No computer can be blamed for making me feel like I didn't have the right resources to get the job done. Or with an untrustworthy computer there is no way I am putting my creative work into it when the greatest fear I have is that it will suddenly go burst and everything I have worked on will disappear. (Okay maybe that last one is a little valid.)

But the truth is, I haven't done any creative work because I haven't done any creative work. I have ideas but I never put them to use. I have creative urgings but I tell myself they can wait. What they are waiting for is obviously beyond me but if I knew the 'real' reason it would be to easy to just get on with it. Lucky for me, I found this book - The Right Questions - at a local bookstore. It was second hand so the price was just right for my thin pocket but it has been a priceless gem in a very uncertain time.

Letting go of some of the ideas I have about what I OUGHT to do and how I MUST do it has been great but I have also come to realize that I still have issues - even with my depression in remission for over a year. I'm learning - probably for the first time ever - that I have to pay attention to my current life as a lesson rather than as a fixed reality. Knowing what I want and not finding it in how I live is the perfect way to understand what I have been investing in all along...and what I need to change.

I'm not sure how having a broken down PC fits into all this but I know what letting my creative work slip means: I am not doing my best to nurture myself because a small part of me is waiting on some knight in shining armor to come save me. The urge isn't going to disappear. But now that I'm aware of it, I think I might be able to short circuit that mode of thinking. In the meantime, I wonder if there is something new I can do.

Lighthouse

2010-09-17T12:00:00.007+03:00

Lighthouse 8.5 x 8.5 in acrylic

I love lighthouses. Whether it is the reality that they show weary and lost travellers where they ought to go (or not go) or because they are often engineered to withstand the ravages of time and weather is always an inspiration to me. I want to be a lighthouse...and very often I long for someone or something to be a lighthouse for me. It would be so nice if I could rely on something to stop me from breaking against the rocks that will send my life crashing into a thousand little pieces of flotsam and jetsam.

There have been a few lighthouses in my life and not always the ones I expected. I've talked with complete strangers and found something wonderful in the most unlikely places. I have talked to friends and felt like I had come home. There are times when I read a book and it changed my life.

In reality, we might not all be sea faring folk but the hazards that come with living a full and happy life can be dangerous sometimes. It is always good to know that wherever we might walk there was someone there before and they have left a little warning to tell us what to avoid and where to go. Perhaps in time, I will be the one others look to for that flash of insight or that steady glow but until then, I might just have to keep collecting the lighthouses I like.

Reston Lloyd Rectangular Stove Burner Covers, Set of 2, Lighthouse

Take a Chance

2010-09-15T13:13:00.000+03:00

take a chance 8.5 x 8.5 in mixed media

I have made a life out of being cautious to the point of failing to do anything at all. Taking risks, taking chances or even considering that there are things out there I might want to know about makes my heart skip a beat...then stop. I thought I could be less afraid if I started a blog and told other people what I was thinking and what I was doing. I realised that I only show the safe things...the good things.

Relax, I;m not about to start washing my dirty laundry out in public and making everyone slightly uncomfortable. But maybe I will take a chance and try out for an open mic night or do a painting that isn't safely classified as an art journal page. Who knows, I might get back to my writing and actually try and get something published.

So many risks to take and so little heart to do them in. I'm going to have to face my fears. I just wish that wasn't one of the many chances I have to take.

Beauty's Mark

2010-09-08T12:30:00.000+03:00

Beauty's Mark 8.5 x 8.5 in acrylic and pen

A background + impromptu poem = art page

This is what I got when I wasn't looking. I had the page for a while and didn't know what to do with it. I would have let it fall into disuse always labeling it as an unused background then I figured I could do something with it...it didn't matter what. Then I started talking about something and kept going until the page was full and this is what I got.

Someone I showed it to said the swirls made him feel dizzy. I can't be sure but there is an element of it. But then again, I just wanted to do something different. This definitely qualifies.

The Paradox

2010-09-06T12:00:00.001+03:00

The paradox 8.5 x 8.5 in watercolour and pen

I first heard this quote in an episode of Criminal Minds. I love the show even though for the most part it showcases the worst of humanity. There is something oddly right about having the good gus win...and something even better when they are smark, sexy people who get to carry guns.

But enough about that...I like that they always show how everything in life is really a remake. Even when we look at all the things people can do to each other, there is always some other person who has spoken of it before. It makes me wonder what creativity really is. If we are simply redoing and remaking what has already been done, can we truly be original?

I think perhaps for that I would have to rely on another smart persons quote for it is C.S. Lewis who said, "Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."

Faith and Love

2010-09-04T00:00:00.013+03:00

faith and love 8.5 x 8.5 in acrylic (with a few embellishments)

There is something interesting about planning. I always have expectations of how things are going to work. I sit down and think of it and I start putting it together...then it goes however it wishes. The strange thing is the same thing doesn't happen when I refuse to plan. When there is no plan, it goes exactly how I want it to go and yet ends up absolutely nowhere. Can you understand my frustration?

Luckily, this one - even with out working as I had expected - turned out alright. Plus, I truly believe what Dwight Moody said. After all, without the faith that anyone was reading this blog, I would have nothing at all to say. And without the love I have for what I do, I would not get out of bed.

Heart & Sun

2010-09-03T12:00:00.001+03:00

heart 3.5 x 3.5in acrylic on paper

sun 3.5 x 3.5 in acrylic on paper

Could one throw together a picture for the sake of it? Never thought I would but here is an example. I had a page set up for Zentangles then got bored after four. With two squares left, I found it easier to use the excess paint from other attempts and do these two lovely little tit-bits. I should have tried a little harder but they weren't supposed to be ART. I figure if I ever want to do something like that again, I'll have to put a little more effort, if not a little more thought.

Back from the Dead-ish

2010-09-02T11:49:00.000+03:00

I couldn't remember how I dealt with internet issues BEFORE I got a personal computer and an internet hook up at home. But with no clear view of a life with a working PC at home any time soon, I decided to rack my brain and get back into action. So I'm doing my best with cyber cafes and share computers. It's not the best...but its better than nothing. On top of that...I might just have plan that will sort this out forever!

Technology Sucks

2010-07-24T21:55:00.000+03:00

I think computers are great. I think the internet has made things possible that we could never have dreamed of. I love that they are easily accessible...literally in the comfort of our homes. But when they start to go wrong...then everything starts to go wrong. I run an update on my computer and for the past week I've been doing all I can to stop it from deleting all my data as the new program conflicts with old ones and makes a mess of everything. I am not so computer savvy that I can just sort this out so I have had no internet access and the bare minimums of computer ability. I can't remember how I survived without my PC but I'm getting the feeling it wasn't such a wonderful existence. On the other hand, if I had never gotten hooked to the internet, there would be nothing to worry about now. So even though I love technology for all it's conveniences...today, I'm of the opinion - IT SUCKS!

Increased Vocabulary

2010-07-16T12:06:00.001+03:00

There is something essentially beautiful about Zentangles. I think they are a nice way to break away from expectations of what is 'normal' and just follow a random path. But even as I tried to stay on the path less travelled, I could not resist the lure of something familiar. Using easily recognizable shapes makes these Zentangles a little different and yet even more meditative.

flower 3.5 x 3.5

There is also this little one...

heart 3.5 x.3.5

Still Wear Pink

2010-07-15T12:05:00.002+03:00

I love mixing music and there are times when I even go so far as to create covers for the mixes. Discovering Zentangles gave me an easy way of designing covers without having to make it an overly cerebral process. This is the cover and back of a mixed CD with music by various strong women in RnB, Pop and Rock singing their hearts out.

front (booklet)

I didn't like how the pink came out and I will probably alter it digitally before I print the final copy but here's the rest of it.

back

This is where I will put the final list of 50 songs and hopefully clear out the funny looking pink colour too. Oh, the joy of Photoshop.

Zentangle Introduction

2010-07-14T16:38:00.002+03:00

Zentangles are interesting. I fully agree with the idea that they can be therapeutic but I can see how figuring out where to start and finish can be difficult. I was particularly happy to try my hand at whatever came to mind but this tutorial also helped me figure out a few things about these mini-doodles. With this in mind...

3.5 x 3.5in with coloured pencil

This attempt was my first try and while some ideas were original most were taken from the tutorial or other people's work. I thought adding colour would help but I don't really like it. So here's attempt number two:

3.5 x 3.5 in graphite pencil

This attempt was a little better but the pencil still wasn't working for me. I've since made a few discoveries but it's still nice to know where I came from. I'm just working on improving my Zentangle vocabulary from here on out.

Hearts version 2.0

2010-07-11T16:05:00.000+03:00

I discovered Zentangles by accident. I was looking through the blogs I follow when I found this post by Karen Blados. I had never heard about them before but I loved the idea so I followed the links and found - to my surprise - that there wasn't anything to it. Since then I've been doing it any chance I get. (June's last entry into Illustration Friday was just one of many examples.)

I also wanted to get the idea for the hearts right. So I used a stencil this time and found the ability to change angles and have neater lines a lot more pleasing. Adding the Zentangles was my way of giving the background some depth. I can't really be sure if that worked but I like this so that's probably all that counts.

Love

2010-07-10T19:56:00.003+03:00

I've had love on my mind for some time. It's probably because I don't really have love in y heart...or rather because I haven't really felt it. There seems to be a break between what I think and feel about love and what everyone I know thinks about it. Then I remembered I had this poem in one of my books and for some reason it reminded me of everything I have ever hoped love to be...and sadly never truly known.

Granted, the desire to blame others for not getting it right is all to clear to me. There are times when it is probably fair to say I do not know how to let love in rather than complain that others do not know how to love me. That's why I am trying to stop thinking about it so much and let it come from where love should - the heart. Perhaps if I can stop my logical mind from derailing me with its ideas of reciprocity and equality, I may finally get to the point where I can engender humility, charity and yes, a little love.

Cup of Soup...Art

2010-07-06T17:51:00.003+03:00

I bought a copy of "1000 Artist Journal Pages" and have come to enjoy flipping through it. I like all the levels of art it shows. Yet I never knew what to do with it beyond that. So when I found myself with a little left-over paint, I thought I might try an imitation.

This particular page was inspired by Kathy Welsh as featured in "1000 Artist Journal Pages" by Dawn DeVries Sokol. Number 0038 in the entire collection, I was attracted to the bold happy colours. I wasn't really interested in getting the final product perfect and adding and taking away elements was my way of stamping it with my brand of ART. I guess that's the true joy of a well written book or the inspiration that comes from being with other artists even from so far away - it calls me to be more than I am and sometimes more than I think I can be.

Say it with Pictures

2010-07-02T13:11:00.001+03:00

Talking with pictures isn't something new. We are always being reminded that a picture speaks a thousand words. So I tried to make a statement of my own and this was the result. I did the picture in about half and hour but the border took ages and considering how little I was able to write, I'm thinking 'a thousand words' is a bit of an exaggeration - that or my pictures are very reticent.

Pretty Things

2010-06-30T17:11:00.002+03:00

I've never been one for 'pretty things'. Pink isn't one of my favourite colours and the only way I'd let florals come into my life was if they were printed on my curtains - and even then perhaps not. So when I started drawing and painting, I was surprised by all the things that I was naturally inclined towards. Butterflies, hearts and yes...even flowers.

I now wonder what I did before I discovered such pretty things. In truth they have no real value and yet they add a lot of value to life. I'm enjoying painting flowers right now but I also enjoy looking at them...taking the time to buy a few to put on my desk where I can occasionally smell their delightful fragrance and marvel at their structure...always inspired by the sheer variability available out there.

Perhaps I shall change my view of pretty things. I might just go out and buy myself a pretty pink sweater and wear it over my jeans so I feel special without even trying. I can't wait...and yet it isn't that big a deal...right?

Luscious

2010-06-26T17:09:00.002+03:00

I got really lucky with this image from an old magazine I had tucked away somewhere but had a little trouble with the writing. I wanted it faint enough to let the image stand out but not disappear completely. I'm not sure but I'm claiming this one as a success. With mixed media coming to my aid one more time, I think I'm starting to really love what comes into my head...and how well it eventually shows up when I put it one the paper.

Bark from Excess

2010-06-24T15:28:00.002+03:00

Ever wondered what to do with those dollops of excess acrylic paint? Well, I figured it out. When concentrated they are great for impasto work like this. Just paint over the page then scrape off whatever design you think of. If there isn't that much, you can mix it with water and make an excellent wash. And there are a few variations between the two that allow the use of different colours, textures and even brush strokes. I guess I will never have any wasted paint again.

Beautiful Background

2010-06-23T13:38:00.003+03:00

I love this background and there are editions of it waiting for me to stain them with words of wisdom, rhyme and song. I can hardly wait. But there is a part of me that wonders what would best describe the wonders of a beautiful human. Could I follow the path of those caught in the net of physical beauty? Can I ascribe to a greater depth and what makes good people good and many more of them truly beautiful. I have work to do...and the pleasure is all mine.

IF: Paisley

2010-06-22T22:11:00.003+03:00

Paisley reminds me of my father's ties. It's one of those things that is linked in my brain. So it was easy enough to come up with something for this weeks Illustration Friday idea. Sadly, it has preempted my discovery of zentangles. They rock...and there is more coming. But in the mean time...

It feels good to be back to participating in this and I can't wait to do even more on the subject.

That Girl

2010-06-22T14:24:00.005+03:00

This is my first sojourn into real mixed media collage. I've always bought magazines to read them so defacing any of the pages to remove images was unheard of. Every time an art exercise asked me to find a magazine and tear out the pages, I always skipped it or went in search of internet photos I could print instead. (That's how I discovered stock photos and the likes of www.gettyimages.com) But as much as I liked the idea of 'saving my magazines' I realised I was keeping too many and the growing piles were becoming too much to deal with.

So armed with a pair of scissors and an eye out for anything that might speak to a desire I found what I was looking for. And so it begins...

Once again...with no plan and a vague idea of what I wanted...I started something that surpassed all my expectations. I love art journaling. I think it rocks.

Love and Wonder a.k.a. Rainbow II

2010-06-21T14:17:00.004+03:00

There is something great about flying off the sit of my pants. A blank page staring at you has none of the inherent artistic fear if you have no clue what you are going to do and the moment lends itself to 'whatever will be will be'. Many times I have been pleasantly surprised by the outcome of no plan. It might therefore come as a bit of a surprise when I now say, there is a lot of value in some planning.

The first time I attempted this image, I didn't know what I was doing with the exception of a vague idea of the outcome. With my first failure behind me and a clearer idea of what I wanted, I pulled out Betty Edwards' book "Color" and read up on my colour theory. The joy of understanding my error was surpassed by the result of putting that knowledge into effect.

This is the outcome of planning and information and I realize now that neither of them can distract from the creative desire. If anything, they add a wonderful new dimension to a world that is more and more amazing with each observation I make. Learning by doing is a great teacher...but then again so is learning by learning.

Love and Light

2010-06-21T13:46:00.004+03:00

This is very similar to the previous post but I didn't realize I was replicating until it was done. I wanted a rainbow gradient but there was a point to the greenery and the flowing red river. When I remember what that is...I'll let you know.

There is something wonderful about the rainbow. While it might have only seven distinct colours, the in-betweens are full to the brim of some of the most amazing shades of colour. I do not know if I will ever be able to fully reproduce it, but the attempt is worth it in every way.

Rainbow?

2010-06-19T15:05:00.002+03:00

Again, there was a plan and oopsy daisy...this is what I got. It was actually a very good learning experience. I'm starting to realize there are some things that need to be taught. Colour theory points to exactly why this picture looks...wrong. Yet if I hadn't done it like this, I never would have figured that out. I guess there is some value in 'learning by doing' or rather "Try. Fail. Fail better."

Splattered Hope

2010-06-18T15:47:00.002+03:00

This is by far my favourite page so far.

It was inspired by television once again. I was watching 'The Human Target' and saw the starting title. Their splatter is a little gorier (is that a real word?) but I really liked the idea of the intentional mess. Figuring out how I was going to do it was a little more interesting. but I clearly got that right. The outcome is wonderful...if I don't say so myself.

I like how the lettering came out. When I started this, I only knew I wanted the writing to be in white and I had the quote already prepared. Cutting out the stencil for the larger letters took a little while but it was worth it just to see it come out so nicely when using acrylic paint dabbed on carefully. The other letters were written in white ink and a standard stencil just to avoid my scraggly handwriting.

I'm thinking of framing this one and putting it up where I can see it every day. That way it can serve as a continued inspiration and a reminder to keep striving for something greater than what I already have.

Variations on a Theme: Piano

2010-06-15T13:41:00.003+03:00

Once again the gap between the vision and the execution shows I liked this idea but the outcome was. . . That I was able to do something I had merely thought of was still pretty good but I know I am a little better than this. This is definitely one of those ideas that I will have to rework at a later date just because I still love it. I know I can do a much better job.

I realise that being kind to myself is great. I know there is a point at which creating something is far better than worrying about how good or bad it might be. That said, there are other times when I will have to aspire to a greater standard and this feels like the perfect place to start. It might even be a natural progression. After all, growth comes with greater skill and discernment, doesn't it? I can do this.

Mish-Mash

2010-06-10T13:40:00.003+03:00

There was no plan. There was a You Tube challenge. There were interesting looking stickers from some box of things I bought ages ago and never used. There was acrylic paint and a piece of unused card stock. Together they made this page. It's a little bit of everything...and it is all true.

Leaping Lizards

2010-06-09T13:10:00.002+03:00

I've never been one to use collage. It's mainly because I usually have a vision of what I want and getting a picture to fit with that is a little difficult. Then I realized it wasn't about getting the picture to agree with your vision but rather getting your vision to agree with whichever picture you've got. I now have a collection of images and stickers from different magazines and I hope to put them to good use. Collage...here I come.

Axis of Joy

2010-06-08T14:02:00.003+03:00

As a fledgling art journal keeper, I have had to find inspiration wherever I can. I love the thousands of books available on the subject and have only started collecting mine...beginning with '1000 Artist Journal Pages' and the works of Danny Gregory: 'Everyday Matters' 'Creative License' and 'An Illustrated Life'. But while a book can give you some great ideas, I have found most of my practical inspiration from [wait for this...] You Tube.

Just by typing in 'art journal' I've found hundreds of pages...some useful and others not. Regardless, it has helped me learn more about the practice and techniques and given me a little more confidence.

This is my version of a challenge placed on one of the many videos (unfortunately, I do not remember the exact one but I'll keep checking until I find it). I think it came out really well and I was happy with the final product. I'm thinking about framing it and putting it up where I can see it all the time. It will remind me that anything is possible...and it's always best when I feel good about whatever is happening.

Flower Power

2010-06-07T22:17:00.004+03:00

There are some things we do because we love them and for no other reason. This is definitely one of them. But I'm not going to be painting any more flowers until they start loving me back just a little bit. :-)

Fat Man, Small Jacket

2010-06-04T15:44:00.003+03:00

Have you ever got an idea that made absolutely no sense to you. This is it for me. It came without warning and would not leave until I did something about it. I can't even account for execution because it turned out exactly how I saw it in my mind's eye. I guess my muse has a sense of humour after all.

Variations on a Theme: Saxophone

2010-06-03T13:57:00.005+03:00

I'm still not sure about the colours I used for this but I like the concept. That it was truly original helped a lot when all I could see was what was wrong with it rather than what was right. There is something very satisfying about pulling something out of a hat that didn't exist before - a little creative magic so to speak. The fact that one piece of inspiration can lead to so much more helps me appreciate that we need not look for it with all the zeal of mining for gold. Without the strenuous effort, it is possible to find treasures in places we hadn't even thought to look.

Inspired Guitar

2010-06-01T17:48:00.005+03:00

I love movies and there is a lot to love. A well written script, good actors getting good direction and the joys of a well executed soundtrack to keep you interested. So it was a bit of a surprise when I started noticing other things. The fact that they never turn of lights and are prone to leave taps running drives me a little crazy but I truly love that everyone - and I do mean everyone - in a movie seems to have impeccable taste in art.

I now notice it all the time. The ones who have classic prints are no less enjoyed than the ones who have stranger looking pieces. This particular one was from the movie 'I Can Do Bad All By Myself' from writer director Tyler Perry. The movie was 'just okay' but I couldn't get this picture out of my head and ended up doing my own version of it. I like how it came out and if I should ever need to use it with one of my haikus, I think I'm already set for that.

It spawned a series...so there's more to come.

Unused Background

2010-05-28T14:05:00.004+03:00

There was a plan for this background. I was experimenting with the joys of watercolour pencil and water splattering before it got dry...then forgot all about what was supposed to go on top of it. Clearly, my memory needs a little more work than my art.

I might try printing on it using my computer and printer and seeing how an inkjet deals with the rough texture of Gesso...basically, doing something I haven't tried yet. If it works it should help me with a few other ideas I have that are not easily accomplished with my scratchy handwriting.

Many Hearts

2010-05-24T15:37:00.003+03:00

I'd like to think I was inspired by Valentine's Day but it was a long way away when I did this. I liked the idea of having many hearts but after I was done with it, I realized it would have come out a little better if I had used a stencil.

Clearly the learning process is just that...a process. I'll probably redo this one at some point and maybe next time I'll try for less brush strokes as well. They drive me a little crazy and I'm currently experimenting with a few ideas to stop it from being so...obvious.

Haiku on Display

2010-05-21T22:34:00.006+03:00

The first few pages I did were inspired by the Haiku I was writing (and still am working on). I wanted to put the simple poems in a place that gave them the fullness of their character. Again, it was a desire born of hope rather than skill and this was what came of it:

This time I used Gesso to put in the words and it was slightly better but it still wasn't the effect I wanted. The branches were a little thin so the words are kinda squashed together - okay representationally but really hard to read. I did like how the swirls turned out in the sky but they were so easily obscured...

Learning on the job has its perks and I guess this is just part of the process but do I ever wish it was easier.

My First Art Page

2010-05-19T21:34:00.005+03:00

I like art and I like that it doesn't matter my level of skill as long as I keep at it. That is why I started making art pages even though I wasn't very good at it. Now, I've decided to share. It's not because my skills are suddenly stupendous and I can wow an audience with everything I imagine but because I really want to share. So, this is the first page I made:

I like that my initial idea was pretty sound but the execution was lacking. A gesso base with water colour on top was great but I discovered (by accident) that nothing really goes on top of oil pastel even though it gives a wonderful textured finish. I had to scrub it off in places I wanted the words to stick but it wasn't as good as I had hoped anyway.

The haiku was written as part of the years 100 Haiku Challenge while the blurry lyrics are from a song by Celine Dion. I'd have to say it wasn't too bad…for a first attempt.

Blocked Artistry

2010-03-28T20:41:00.001+03:00

I've always had a rather interesting creative life. It was more like fighting with my demons at every turn and with each failure or success, I watched the blood flow onto the page as my art. But after many years of fighting I am finally putting some of my demons to bed. I have embraced a little sanity after years of depression. It feels so good I can hardly understand how I called it living before. Best of all I am happy about who I am and everything I have accomplished in the past…so why can't I create anything worth a damn?

I am frustrated by it. But in a move I can only consider inspired, I reached into my library and found Julia Cameron's book The Artist's Way. Now, I've had this book a good long time and I've read it and reread it several times over the years but while I knew it could help me in some way I never understood just how much, until now. On the 15^th page of the introduction she says, "…I stopped drinking. I never thought drinking made me a writer, but now I suddenly thought not drinking might make me stop." In those words I could see my fear fully expressed. I never thought depression helped me write or draw or paint but I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps the lack of it has stopped me.

I spent so much time trying to mitigate the effects of my dark and lonely feelings that I never learnt to do anything else. Now that the opportunity is available to me, I'm not sure what I should do. Julia Cameron would probably tell me to start again at the beginning; take the course and discover and recover my creative self. I think it might be a good idea. So for the next 12 weeks I want to try working my way through The Artist's Way and being as good as I can about accomplishing it. In all my other attempts I have failed in one of two ways; I never did all the work (skimping on morning pages and never going on artist dates) or stopping before I could see any real progress.

I do not know if sanity imbues me with any unnatural super powers but I hope it means I won't be fighting against myself so much. If that's the case, I might just have a real chance this time. Updates will come as I make my way through the minefield that is my creative motivation and perhaps I will put the demons lying there to rest as well.

NaNoWriMo Complete

2009-11-30T18:16:00.002+03:00

There was a time there when I didn't think I was going to make it. Something about my novel just didn't mesh and i thought I would have to start again just to fix the problem. Thank goodness for the madness that is a looming deadline. Instead of going crazy about stuff already written, I kept forging ahead and I am now the proud writer of a complete romance novel and a bearer of the NaNoWriMo winning banner.

And the final word count, one might ask:

66,163

50,000 Words and...

2009-11-25T23:47:00.001+03:00

Another year of writing and my story isn't finished even though I've reached 50,000 words. I should be used to it by now. But I guess I still have a way to go.

I Call it Heart-Speak

2009-11-17T23:00:00.001+03:00

My NaNoWriMo novel is about a couple separated by so many things it seems like they might never come together. Yet they are blessed with one wonderful and frightening gift. I call it Heart-Speak. They can communicate with their minds over time and space in order to find each other, love each other and change the world they live in forever.

I love the idea of it. It's special. It is something I have always hoped for because relationships can be crazy and there are times when it is useful to have someone who can just read your mind. But I've found something else in the midst of this search. Not someone who can read my mind but rather something that speaks to my heart.

I just finished watching Julie & Julia [2009] and while I love both Meryl Streep and Amy Adams, the story they told as these two women was far greater than I expected. It is a call to all women – perhaps even all people – to connect, to love freely, to laugh, to cry, to cook…and yes, to eat. To take up insane challenges and meet them even when we want to throw in the towel…and the kitchen sink. Blogs, books, poetry, notes and memos are useful to communicate but I don't think I have ever felt that it was magical too…until now. I write stories because I love to. Who knows what else they can do?

I have a NaNoWriMo motto that reads, "I write because I love it, the insanity is extra free." Perhaps I should change that to, "…the magic is extra free." Because there can be no writing that isn't an investment of ourselves into something…more! We are putting a little mark on the world even when the world doesn't know it. There are people out there who have something to say…something to share. Perhaps there are too many voices and it becomes hard to hear a single song amongst them but I hope I do. I hope I can find that voice that speaks to me across time and space just because it was written down.

I hope I can open my heart to every song that resonates with something inside me. Julia Powell found it in a cookbook by Julie Child, a one year challenge and a friendship separated by an ocean and more than 50 years. I hope I can find it a little closer to home with hands across the ocean and words on this screen. I want to open my heart to this practice of singing my song clear and listening to what others have to say. It is a gift as wonderful and frightening as reading people's minds yet I cannot back down from the challenge. So I guess that leaves taking it on.

First Day First

2009-11-02T21:30:00.001+03:00

In my five-year history of doing NaNoWriMo this is the first time I have failed to post a fantastic first-day word count. In fact, other than opening a document with the title of my novel The Darlings, and getting the basics of who wrote it and for what reason (NaNoWriMo 2009 Novel), I haven' don't much of anything. The two blog posts are already far ahead of whatever I have on my novel and posting a pathetic count of only 68 words (mainly because I threw in my address) didn't seem worth it.

I have every hope that I will do a better job with day two. Even though I am only just getting down to writing, I have the advantage of a real outline; something I didn't have yesterday. I had tried to procrastinate it away but it wasn't happening. A nation wide power black-out yesterday night might have contributed to my miniscule word count but it also had the amazing advantage of getting me to consider what I wanted to do and how it was going to look in glorious chapter form. For that, I am eternally grateful to the unreliability of our current power supply. I just hope this is a one time thing and I don't have to deal with it later in the month.

I think with what I've managed to do so far, I'll be able to design a cover that really speaks to the rest of the story while getting my synopsis done. The wonderful people at FWIS.com are also having a challenge that involves creating covers for 30 NaNoWriMo books during the 30-day challenge period. With a clear synopsis I would qualify for the competition but I also like the idea that they will give someone like me – a cover layout novice – a very good idea of what goes into making a winning cover especially when the information available is as little as a blurb.

NaNoWriMo is Here Again

2009-11-01T15:01:00.003+03:00

I find it interesting that my year is no longer determined by the New Year. Instead I am very aware that another year has gone by when NaNoWriMo comes along. This is the fifth year I am participating in this High Octane Novel Writing Extravaganza and I love it. But this year is already proving to have some unusual problems. For starters, my idea is not very clear and while I usually hit the ground running, I'm not even done clarifying what my novel is going to be about exactly.

Lucky for me, NaNoWriMo highly encourages this 'off the sit of your pants' kind of writing and thinking and acting so I'm not too afraid. I would like to have a complete panic fit and run screaming from my computer but I know the pounding in my chest, the constriction in my airways, the blurry vision and loss of consciousness is part of the wonderful madness that goes with writing a 50,000 word novella in a month.

So here we go again! Deep breath. Full body sigh. And…ACTION!

IF: Infinite

2009-09-25T11:28:00.002+03:00

Nothing is worse than giving up because that is what failure truly is. I nearly stopped illustrating because of so many reasons but I refuse to fail and it is with pride and joy that I return at last.

"Finite is to fail, but infinite to venture." Emily Dickinson

Stepping Out

2009-09-04T11:23:00.004+03:00

It's so easy to get lost in my head - mainly because it's so intereting there. But while escapism has its benefits it is usually a lot wiser to face whatever I am trying to escape from. That is why I am doing my best to step out of my head and into the world. It would be nice if it was easy. It would be great to feel like I was doing the right thing. Sadly, it just fills me with cold sweats and makes me want to slam the door shut.

The only trouble is I am tired of being lonely. I am tired of feeling so alone. If there was another way to do this, I would gladly sign up for it but I may have to go through some discomfort before I finally step into a great new world of wonder. It's a lot like teething. It hurts for a while but its a welcome new world of chewable food on the other side.

Now if I could just make it through without feeling like my heart was being reaped out of my chest.

Attack of the Body Snatcher

2009-08-26T18:54:00.005+03:00

If I took a break from my life would it still be my life?

I just wanted to take some time away and figure out if this was something I really wanted to do. The only trouble with that is, it came at a time when I found the process of creating anything at all very difficult. So Illustration Friday is on a break - but then again - so is everything else I've been trying to do. The effects are making me wonder about a lot more than my artistic talents.

The weekly writing challenge has remained unchallenged for nearly two months. The usually weekly newsletter is a month behind schedule and there is evidence enough here of just how well IF has been going. Somewhere along the way I lost the plot and I'm not sure if I can recapture it.

So with such a bad showing, I have to wonder...is this really me or am I living proof that there really is something like a body snatcher? Because it walks like me and talks like me but I don't think it's me any more. I think maybe I just took a break and forgot to take my body with me. I wonder how I would sort that out. I wonder how I can feel so broken - it is , after all, just a little undone art. Right?

Illustration Friday: Shaky

2009-07-09T17:27:00.003+03:00

On shaky ground...

...in more ways than one.

Illustration Friday: Worn

2009-07-02T10:46:00.003+03:00

I've been away a while but I knew I couldn't let another Illustration Friday go by without an attempt. I'm trying something different and hoping it will work but so far... I figure it's still better to do bad art than to do no art so this is me getting my head back in gear.

I like to call this image 'the bag lady and the mannequin'. Make it a metaphor if you please or take it as it is. I just hope the idea of worn gets across.

Illustration Friday: Adapt

2009-06-04T11:15:00.002+03:00

Technology might mean we have to adapt ourselves to new ways of doing things but there are so many other ways we have to make necessary changes to deal with technology. Just the plugs to my power supply need an adapter to work properly and these are just the ones from my computer to the main socket. Is this really progress?

Illustration Friday: Cracked

2009-05-26T23:24:00.005+03:00

This is more about a crack than cracked but I figured it would crack someone up and went with it anyway. It was actually my boyfriend's idea so I can't take all the credit but he disowned it the minute I told him I was going to post it...no fun. :-D

Illustration Friday: Contagious III

2009-05-19T00:23:00.003+03:00

"Smile, and the world smiles with you; cry and you cry alone."

People don't really smile as much as they used to. We can blame it on any number of things: the failing economy, the lack of anything to smile about, the fear that someone you smile at might just be an axe murderer... But in an attempt to do something different, I've been smiling at anyone who crosses my path. It not only feels great for me (a cross between silly and utterly light-hearted) but I've had a few favourable responses.

So maybe spreading the flu is 'natural' and yawning is contagious in its own strange way. But if there is anything I wish to pass around like wild fire, it's a smile. Go on...smile with me.

Illustration Friday: Contagious II

2009-05-19T00:19:00.002+03:00

It's been said that the easiest way to know if a person in a crowd is looking at you is to yawn. It is so contagious that they won't be able to help doing it too. I am a believer in that idea now especially since the search for the perfect yawning picture resulted in several of my own.

This is the second picture in this series and it came to me shortly after the first. There is a third in what is now an interesting triptych.

Illustration Friday: Contagious I

2009-05-19T00:01:00.002+03:00

It's flu season and with the recent H1N1 scare it's not easy to think that I might get sick. Sadly with its severe contagiousness, it might be hard to keep something like that in check. So when you have the flu - please cover your mouth.

This is a public health warning from your friendly local artist. LOL!

Illustration Friday: Parade (Coloured)

2009-05-14T20:15:00.003+03:00

A little colour makes for an interesting change to an otherwise drab picture. And the ducks still look like their having fun...

Illustration Friday: Parade (Pencil)

2009-05-14T20:11:00.002+03:00

Ducks on display is the way I would like to think of this. The best part is they all look like their having fun.

Watching The Audience

2009-05-14T19:56:00.006+03:00

Desperation is great for inspiration. Everything I have come up with for this weeks Illustration Friday spark word: PARADE has been a little off. My artistic vocabulary has never been so severly taxed and I wondered if I really had the skill to pull of some of the ideas I had in my head. In a bid not to give up, I did this picture...

It's a lot like the other pictures I have done but for some reason it didn't feel like enough. I just didn't feel it, what with the plainness of it and the fact that it still didn't fit the idea of PARADING (although the first version was meant to be a nude).

So I decided to add a little colour using paint - nothing complicated there except I learnt that just because its drawn a certain way doesn't mean its ready for digitization. But I was a little better pleased with the final effect. It was a little strange but still intersting enough to give me some ideas for the future.

Sadly, it still didn't fit what I wanted for Illustration Friday. (Or maybe I just wanted to experiment some more) so I'm trying the same technique on something else...

Illustration Friday: Hierarchy

2009-05-07T10:26:00.003+03:00

Hierarchy (c) 2009 Nahellenia

In the midst of the worst
in the midst of the best
sometimes leading the pack
most times stuck with the rest

At the top of the hill
with the world at my feet
or with knees on the ground
by a better on beat

In the midst of the good
in the midst of the bad
sometimes doing my best
most times acting so mad

This is life every day
is the way it should be
all are king for a time
yet slaves eternally

I grew up in a large mixed family and there was always someone who had done something before me and someone who would do it after me. It made me a lot more conscious of the idea of being average - knowing that there was always something or someone better or worse. Hierarchies are a part of life but for the most part they serve a clear purpose.

I just wish it was easy to know that even the king is slave to his people (or his tyranny) and the slave is mastered only by him who he gives his soul; not him who owns his body. So here's to my family hierarchy and the knowledge that being the third last in line is no different from being first or last.

Weekly Writing Wreck

2009-04-22T10:08:00.002+03:00

It has all begun to blur together.

One story, two stories, five stories, oh my! But I never thought that was the problem I was going to have. Writing 2,000 words of fiction a week is easier than I thought (especially in comparison to the 8 - 15,000 words of non-fiction I write) and there are many weeks when I exceeded that and then some. So what is making it feel like the same boring old stuff again?

I haven't stopped writing but for the past couple of weeks its been a challenge to come up with anything to write about. Even editing old stuff doesn't seem to work. It could be a phase I will get over (hopefully soon :-( ) so I can go back to being 'normal'.

I'll just be a writing wreck until that happens...ouch!

Illustration Friday: Impossibility?

2009-04-21T10:40:00.003+03:00

I have a memory of loving purple skies. I don't know why (among all the colours available to me) I liked purple most of all. It might have been an act of self-expression or perhaps something else - like maybe I'd lost all the other colours and the only thing I had left was brown, orange and purple. And if I was going to have a brown tree with orange flowers it didn't really leave me a choice.

But the thing I liked most about it is that nothing was ever impossible. So in a bid to recaptrue that memory I did a picture I used to like when I was a child. It was oddly more difficult to remember it and do it 'right' but I loved the idea of a purple sky which automatically came with a green sun, a polka dotted cat and a zebra striped house.

It maybe a natural impossibility but I guess it goes to show there are no limits to the creative mind. Whatever I can envision, I can create. It makes life seem so much richer. Not only can we pull from the great storehouse of what is already there and already beautiful to behold but we can take it a little further and make it our own.

That's why I will always love my art - even when it is a little strange to look at. So hurray for yellow trees and checked roofs and the chance to do some things a little differently.

Illustration Friday: Fleeting

2009-04-16T14:46:00.003+03:00

Have you ever tried to hold water in your hands? For a while it looks like you can...and then the moment passes and it's easier to understand why someone somewhere thought of glasses.

Illustration Friday: Talisman

2009-04-07T23:19:00.003+03:00

Love (c) 2009 Nahellenia

one little rose, three little words
a chance to show what we can
wide as the ocean: free as the birds
this is a lover's talisman

Symbols of love are never more important than when they are applied in a timely fashion. I have never found anything that speaks to the magic and miracle of falling and love (and staying that way) than the rose. It is talisman to those who use it - imbuing them with the power to say things they might otherwise not, do things they might otherwise falter at.

I think that is why we have roses, beautifully scented, wonderful to behold and yet with just the right number of thorns to remind you that love can also sting.

Drawing Hand

2009-04-07T15:46:00.006+03:00

The means, the method and the magic.

I love the pencil. I think it is both a means and the magic behind a creative endeavour. I did this drawing several years ago while working with Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain (Edwards, 1992). It's about as far as I got but I think this was a good effort.

I thought of posting the drawing for IF (and heralding the pencil as a talisman of great power) but I feel it isn't enough and because it isn't current it inspires a sense of laziness I do not want to encourage. So I'm still working on that post but figured I'd share this one anyway.

Illustration Friday: Poised

2009-03-31T15:41:00.003+03:00

Poised to strike...and poised to sing.

It's a good thing not to judge a IllustrationFriday prompt before the week is over. When I first saw the word POISE, I thought, "These people are trying to kill me." But now that something has come to mind it isn't so bad. I only wish something keeps coming to mind and it is within my capacity to produce it. Because my first idea just wasn't.

To those professional illustrators and artist out there, "What do you do when something is clear in your head but isn't so clear in the outcome?"

Illustration Friday: Subtract

2009-03-25T15:15:00.003+03:00

Subtract (c) 2009 Nahellenia

daylight turns to dusk
dusk descends to darkness
sunshine subtracts slowly
left to linger in moonlight
a thousand stars beckon
a thousand crickets sing

dawn gives up the darkness
light comes back again
morning blooms and all is bright
and birds begin to sing
so the day is born again...

subtract it from your life

I did this in my (quickly becoming) favourite style. I did the dark ground in grafite dust then slowly added the definition by erasing it away the sun and the hightlights in the water and sky. The dark tones were added with a pencil then highlights subtracted with the same eraser technique.

Legendary Phoenix

2009-03-21T11:56:00.003+03:00

I haven't had time to do my illustration for this weeks IF but that was because I was doing a different kind of art - this time I was the canvas instead of the artist and I now have a LEGENDARY Pheonix permanently etched into the skin of my wrist. It was done on Thursday and the picture was taken immediately after it was complete.

Meaningful and magical, the phoenix has featured in many myths about its origin and symbolism check out http://www.santharia.com/bestiary/phoenix.htm. It also has significance in every major religion and ancient civilisation and was not only a sign of eternity and rebirth but also rising our of adversity.

The sight I love for tattoos is Tattoo Tribe and their explanation for each tattoo is very comprehensive. While I loved their ideas, they are a bit complicated and I wanted something small so I chose a rather simple line version. I think it came out really well.

It is inspiring and beautiful and since it is part of my spiritual development, I think I am on the right track. Here it is...

Illustration Friday: Intricate

2009-03-08T22:19:00.004+03:00

I don't think I can say anything about this one other than check out the intricacy of the weave. It was not only intricate in its creation (READ: I couldn't find a shortcut to save my life) but in its crafting in real life.

Baskets like these are constructed from a reed that was initially considered an environmental hazard. Now they are part of a thriving craft industry.

My Happy Birthday

2009-03-06T11:15:00.002+03:00

It's my birthday and the joy of seeing another year go by is tempered by the reality of...another year going by. If I want to be something wonderful when I grow up, I think it might be time to start thinking of what that something is going to be. Writing and painting, drawing and research might fill my days right now but there is something missing and I don't really know what it is.

Perhaps this is the year I finally figure it out. It is after all the start of something new...and that is always a little wonderful no matter how you look at it.

Happy Birthday to me!

Illustration Friday: Breezy

2009-03-06T10:58:00.004+03:00

Getting an idea is only as good as how soon (and well) one can use it. It's taken me very long to put this one into effect. But I think it is a good effort. Trying to get the pencil as dark as possible was rather difficult but with a little more pressing I think I got it. I should probably try editing it once it is scanned but that has to be a job for another time.

It is interesting to note that I had done something else earlier - this rough sketch for a possible painting came really quickly - and I think it has suitable potential for something in colour down the line.

Thinking in pictures is getting easier...me thinks!

Illustration Friday: Instinct

2009-02-23T14:03:00.006+03:00

What comes naturally? Nurture! The natural instinct to care and to love is in every person. I would only hope that it is not an insinct we have forgotten with evolution leaving us empty and alone.

I had two similar ideas for this weeks Illustration Friday idea but in my efforts to do something from memory, I realised I was running before I could walk. I'm trying to improve my drawing skills so I shall limit myself to life drawing for a while (using pictures when I'm in a tight spot - like this one from Getty Images) and see if that doesn't help me get better. Only then will I go back to drawing from imagination and memory. Hopefully the slower journey will have fewer mishaps.

In the meantime I get to enjoy doing one more thing right. In this case, a chance discovery of Picasa's compatibility with my scanner, has given me improved pictures. I'm not losing the mid-tones as I was before and it makes for a fuller illustration even in pencil. It, however, also picks up all the eraser marks as well. I can't have everything but I'd rather too much than too little.

When The Week Ends Too Fast

2009-02-19T11:55:00.002+03:00

The week has flown by and it wasn't kind enough to give me a warning.

I usually have everything I need to do mentally organised by Monday and the week is spent doing it with plenty of time to spare. But this week has been a little different. I made the mistake of thinking the Illustration Friday challenge was 'easy enough' and didn't do anything about it - which unfortunately included not thinking of a suitable idea. I only just managed to post my, hastily done, Illustration Friday picture and I am waiting on some kind of inspiration to push me towards my story for this weeks Writing Challenge.

Ugh, to have some way of doing that automatically... :-(

It's the first time I'm coming to the end of the week feeling a little caught out but there's still time to make it...I think. I just have to work double time and hope the muses find my sudden rush as endearing as if I was working with them in carefully choreographed creation.

Illustration Friday: Celebrate

2009-02-19T11:29:00.003+03:00

Celebrating victory.

In this case, the concept more than its expression is what I would like to celebrate. Sadly, my brain to pencil link is kinda fuzzy and it gives me a whole new appreciation of the idea of 'use it or lose it'. But I'm using it now and perhaps in time, I will find it as natural to draw as to breath.

I do have to admit a certain amount of personal growth. Never before would I have tried something so out of my league, never before would I have been unafraid to suck, never before would I have put it in a public forum and never before would I have believed I could do a drawing once a week.

It's getting easier every day. Easier to draw, easier to try new things, easier to suck - or even get better. So perhaps that is my victory and that is definitely something worth celebrating.